Chapter 8

Sunlight spilled in from the windows and slid across the room. Howard opened his eye, squinting slightly against the sudden onslaught of light. Rolling over he found Jason still sleeping, one hand tucked under his cheek. Howard smiled. It looked set to be a beautiful day, if a little cold though Howard pulling the covers a little further over his bare chest. Jason had been right they had needed to spend some time together, Howard had been feeling a little rejected from Jason in the past few days but after talking it through he had found Jason had felt the same. Relationships were funny like that, you could spend the whole time missing someone and thinking they didn’t miss you only to find out they felt the same way.

Stretching out his arms, he checked his phone. 11:30. Howard raised his eyebrows; he hadn’t realized how much they had slept in, he supposed they had stayed up pretty late. As per usual Jason had put his tracksuit bottoms on to sleep, Howard rolled his eyes. It was a particularly annoying habit of Jason’s to get dressed just before they went to sleep and Howard failed to understand why on earth he felt the need to do it. He decided to forgive him though because he looked so adorable when he was asleep.

“Don’t look at me when I’m sleeping, I might do something embarrassing like dribble.” Jason said, his eyes still closed but a smile on his face.

Howard laughed. “I was in the midst of forgiving you for wearing those hideous track suit bottoms to bed.”

Jason opened one eye to look at him. Howard was leaning up on one elbow and the sun was tangled up all around him. Jason didn’t mean to brag but damn his boyfriend was hot.

“I get cold.” Jason said grinning at him.

Howard rolled his eyes again. Perhaps one day when Jason wasn’t around he would chuck them out and pretend they’d gotten lost. Or burn them and say it was an accident.

“I thought we’d go and see Mark today, both of us.” Howard said putting his head back on the pillow.

Jason nodded. “Yeah, the doctor said his memory is almost completely restored except for the fact that he keeps called Gary, Kurtis.” Jason laughed.

Howard smiled. He was glad Mark was getting better, although he did still wonder about Gary. He wasn’t even sure if Gary had gone in yesterday. Next time he saw him Howard swore he would get Gary to talk to him about how he felt even if it meant he had to beat it out of him.

“Why don’t we see Gaz tonight perhaps? After we see Mark?” Jason said rising up on his elbow now and looking down on Howard.

“Sounds like a plan, I’ll text him later, coffee?” Howard said going to slide out the side of the bed.

Jason caught his arm and dragged him back in for a kiss. “Don’t you dare keep stuff from me again Donald.” He said smiling and kissing him again before letting him go.

Howard stood up, a soppy grin plastered across his face. “It’s a promise Orange.”

***

Gary handed over a five-pound note to the girl behind the counter and waited patiently at the end of the line for his coffee. It wasn’t for him, he was more of a tea man and he never brought tea from cafés anyway as they never got it right. It was for Mark. As an apology. Kind of.

Okay, so Gary wasn’t completely proud of the way he had acted the night before. Well it had all happened so fact Gary had had absolutely no idea how to respond. Perhaps getting up and leaving without a word was not the best way to deal with things. God he felt awful… it’s just that. It didn’t make sense. It was too good to of happened to him. Gary was used to heartbreak and rejected but he certainly wasn’t used to having someone say they loved him. Especially when he was so achingly in love with them as well.

Therefore he had come to the conclusion that Mark was delusional or it was some kind of joke. Although he suspected it was the former, Mark didn’t have a mean bone in his body and would never make a joke about something like that.

His phone buzzed.

“Hello?”

“Gary Barlow!” Kennedy practically yelled down the phone at him. “Would you care to explain why you ran out on Mark last night?”

Gary raised his eyebrows. “Who told you?”

“Mark.” Kennedy said impatiently. “I went in to see him this morning and he said that you had left without saying a word, I tell you I am in good mind to come and slap you silly.”

“Well Mark was clearly delusional.” Gary said indignantly, picking up his coffee and walking out of the café. “He doesn’t love me, that would be too… good.”

Kennedy let out a sound of frustration. “Jesus Christ, he does love you okay, he was serious, but you have hurt him pretty badly by walking away, he’s not delusional, ask the doctors, he honestly told you he loved you and you blew him off.”

Gary stopped outside Mark’s door. He honestly told you he loved you and you blew him off. Suddenly he felt sick. What had he done? Had he just ruined his chances at everything he had ever wanted? Would Mark forgive him?

“I have to go.” He choked down the phone.

He opened the door. Mark looked round startled when he saw him. Gary looked at him, he looked pained. Silence ensued.

Mark stared dumfounded at Gary who stood silent in his doorway. His chest still ached from Gary walking out on him the night before. Why had he come back? Surely not to reject him again. Mark didn’t believe that Gary would do such a thing but who knew now, Mark didn’t think Gary would ever walk out of someone like that but he had. Maybe he had forgotten who Gary was, because in Marks mind Gary was a loving compassionate man who wouldn’t hurt a fly and yet just hours before he had stamped on Mark’s heart like you would flick a mosquito from your skin. Without a second thought.

“Did you mean it?” Gary said huskily.

Mark looked surprised. “Mean what?” He cursed himself silently at the misery that had come out in his voice. He had wanted to stay strong. He had wanted to show Gary that he didn’t care if he didn’t love him back. It was no use; he couldn’t hide how hurt he was.

“That you…” Gary swallowed. “Loved me?”

Mark’s eyes widened. Was the man serious? Gary hadn’t believed him when he had told him he loved him?

“Of course.” Mark choked out. “What you think I go round telling people I love them for laughs? Look, just forget I ever said anything, you made your feelings fairly clear on the matter last night.”

Gary sunk down in his chair. Mark was serious. Mark loved him. He opened his mouth. Then closed it again. In Gary’s mind when he had played this scene out he had always imagined himself knowing exactly what to say and yet here he was at a total loss for words. He had honestly never believed that something this good could ever happen to him.

To Marks total and utter surprise Gary started to laugh. Oh fantastic, so he had come all this way to laugh at him? That confirmed that Mark had indeed forgotten who Gary Barlow was. His heart thumped in his chest.

“Listen I told you my biggest secret last night.” Mark said through gritted teeth, his legs hurt; the doctor had warned him not to get too aggravated. “Kindly show the decency not to laugh at me about it.”

Gary’s face was suddenly serious. “I thought you were delusional because it seemed to bloody good to ever actually have someone love you back.”

“Pardon?” Mark said. He had absolutely no idea what Gary was going on about and he wondered if it was actually Gary that had had the accident and bumped his head because he had quite frankly gone insane.

“I love you.” Gary said. “I always have and I probably always will.”
Now it was Mark’s turn to be lost for words. He opened his mouth and closed it again. His stomach felt funny, he felt kind of light. Like something had been weighing on him all this time and now it was lifted, although Mark knew this couldn’t be true, stuff like that only happened in the movies.

“I don’t know what to say.” Mark said slightly breathlessly.

“Don’t say anything, we’ve spent far to much of our time talking anyway.” And with that Gary stood up and kissed Mark, square on the mouth. The feeling that ensued almost knocked him off his feet. He had wanted this for so god damned long.

***

Jason, Howard, Robbie, Laura, Em, Sue, Vicky, Kennedy and Kate stared opened mouthed through the small window that looked into Mark’s hospital room.

“I’m no expert but I think Mark and Gary sorted stuff out.” Vicky said laughing.

“I think you just might be right.” Jason said shaking his head happily.