Chapter 5

It was Robbie who offered to drive Gary home. They’d pulled him out of intensive care and bundled him into the car without him saying a word. He looked tired, Robbie thought. It was strange seeing Gary like this; he was always such a bundle of excitement and lopsided smiles.

They had had to wade through the paparazzi lining the streets, microphones thrust at them left, right and centre. The doctors had said a few words earlier saying that Marks condition was stable but not yet out of critical. None of the boys wanted to comment on the situation. The police arrived fairly swiftly to break up the crowds.

“Did you tell him Gaz?” Robbie said, his eyes leaving the road to look over at his friend.

Gary looked down. “No, I couldn’t do it, I want Mark to hear me say it, when… if he wakes up I’ll tell him.”

Robbie nodded quietly. This was not his area of expertise, he was wishing Jason and Howard had driven Gary home now; they’d know exactly what to say. The only thing Robbie could think of was to change the subject.

“Kennedy phoned.”

Gary looked up briefly and for the first time since the accident his green eyes seemed to clear, they almost looked alive again.

“She did?” Kennedy was Gary’s writing partner. For hours they’d sit together weaving words together to create the hits that people know and love.

“Yeah she was worried about you and Mark, says she’s waiting at your house with a mug of tea now and she brought Laura.” Robbie sat back in his chair, slightly please he was the first person to make Gary smile.

Gary rested back against the headrest. “I’m so tired.”

“I know, well when Mark wakes up atleast he’ll be keeping you up all night for good reasons.”

Gary’s eyebrow shot up. “Please tell me you did not just say that.”

“Yeah that was bad wasn’t it? Don’t tell me it hasn’t crossed your mind though, plus that’s a classic Take That song.” Robbie drummed his fingers on the wheel, humming ‘Up All Night’ as he did so.

Gary shook his head, his shoulders shaking in silent laughter. The pain in his stomach became less, but it was still there, eating away at him. Perhaps after he slept for a while he’d feel better.

“Come on.” Rob said. “Tell me about Mark.”

Gary looked at him again wondering if he had completely lost his mind.

“You know Mark?”

“I know Mark form my point of view, tell me about the Mark you know, when did you know he was ‘The One’?” Robbie grinned. “It will help.”

Gary wasn’t so sure. He wasn’t used to talking about Mark. It felt strange, he thought about Mark but he never spoke about him. Not even to Kennedy, or Sue. Although Kennedy had always had a sneaky suspicion that ‘I’d Wait For Life’ was about Mark. Gary would never admit that it was.

“The One? Seriously?” Gary said.

“Well do you love him? Or is it just sexual?”

Gary choked. “Um, are you always this brash?”

“Stop being so British.” Robbie said, giving Gary a wink.

“I um… I love him, I do love him.” Gary said the words slowly. It still felt new to say it out loud, new but… good. He squared his shoulders, yeah, he loved him. That was okay; it was okay that he loved him. This was the 21st century after all.

Robbie pulled the car up back outside Gary’s house and turned to him. He laid his hand on Gary’s shoulder.

“I know this is hard, but Mark’s going to be okay… And I want you to know that when you and Mark get together you can totally still tell about the sex, I wont be weird about it or anything.”

“Get out my car.” Gary said shaking his head and opening the door. His feet made crunching noises on the snow as he walked up towards his door. Despite making Gary feel slightly uncomfortable Robbie had lightened his mood. He was still shaking his head and tutting like the British born man he was as he opened the door and walked inside. He walked slowly into the kitchen. It was empty; he supposed Kennedy and Laura were in the lounge.

Walking the window he stared out at his garden. Half eaten food lay around, his stomach lurched as he remembered the way Mark had walked out on him, why had he gotten so angry? Gary ran through their conversation in his head. He didn’t understand what he had said. He rested his elbows on the counter and scrubbed at his tired eyes.

“Gary?”

Gary turned around at the soft sound of Kennedy’s voice. Her long blonde hair was pulled into a messy plait and beside her stood Laura, her brown hair hanging loose. Gary wasn’t sure what it was but Laura always reminded him of Mark, perhaps it was the way she dressed, or the big smile always on her face.

Wordlessly Kennedy and Laura pulled him into a hug.

“We made tea.” Laura said, rubbing at his back.

Pulling the girls as close to him as he could without crushing them Gary said, ‘Thank you, for being here.”

“Come on Gaz, we are your friends.” Kennedy broke away and pressed a warm mug of tea into his hands. “Drink that tea and go to sleep, you will feel better after you have slept.”

Gary smiled. Kennedy was right. He wasn’t surprised. Kennedy was always right.

Laura dragged him to the sofa and made him take off his shoes and coat.

“Get in.” She nodded at the thrown back covers. “And stay there until you have slept.”

Gary got under the warm blankets, his tired joints creaking angrily at him. The second his head hit the pillow he realized how tired he was. His last conscious image was Laura tucking him in. Here he was a grown man being tucked into his bed, he was grateful however as he didn’t think his body had the energy anymore. He could hear sounds around him; Robbie was in the kitchen with the girls. The sound of their voices soothed him and he drifted off to sleep. His dreams were blank, it was like even his own head was tired of thinking and so let him sleep peacefully. He was aware in his unconscious state of the pain that was still twisted in his chest.

He slept in silence for almost 10 hours straight waking only once in a panic. Something was wrong with Mark, he knew something was wrong but in his semi-sleep state he couldn’t remember what it was. Robbie had coached him back to sleep however and once again his world was at peace.

Gary was enjoying the silence around him so much that his body didn’t want to wake up as he could hear his phone chiming. He blinked sleepily against the light. His house sounded quiet except for his phone so he supposed the girls and Robbie had gone home. He could see a note lying on the table scrawled in Laura’s handwriting. He picked up his phone; his hands still slow from sleep.

“Gaz?” Jay’s voice crackled down the line. “Its Jay, listen get down here, he’s awake.”