Chapter 3

Mark jumped at the sound spilling his tea onto his lap.

"Fuck." He said, wiping it with his hands. "Sorry."

Gary laughed. "No worries, I'll get you a cloth."

Gary chucked Mark a cloth as he left the room to get the door. Mark dabbed at his lap, the tea had definitely scorched his skin, that was going to leave a mark. Muttering curses under his breath, he slid off his chair to put the cloth by the sink. Whoever had rung the doorbell had awful timing. Mark set his elbows on the counter and rubbed his face with his hands. What was he doing? He could ruin everything he had with Gaz, their friendship could potentially be over and that could damage the band. Would he be able to put the band in joepardy just to act on his desires? He stared out the window at the stretch of land before him, white as white, pure, untainted. He'd be hated surely by the fans, who would blame him for the bands demise. Would be still be able to hang out with the guys without Gary? Or would they break away from him. Take Three. A sick feeling settled in his belly, theres a struggle between desire and expectations. People expect him to be happy, jolly Mark who would never act so rashly around his feelings, putting everything in danger of collapsing, but he desired to be with Gary. To touch him, to hold him, to love-

"It was only the post." Gary said, returning with his hands full of letters. He set them on the table and began to sift through them. "Were you going to tell me something?" Gary's green eyes found Marks.

"No." Mark said, turning around to face him. "Its nothing." Perhaps the post had come at exactly the right time.

Gary looked at him for a while. Mark looked troubled he thought... maybe he'd seen the way Gary had looked at him and sussed it out. Gary swallowed. It would be hard if Mark knew how he felt, it could ruin everything. Gary forced his eyes onto the post before him.

"The guys are coming over in a minute, Robbie, Howard, Jason, Chloe, some girl Robbie picked up called Kate and I invited Sue." Gary said, sliding his thumb under the lip of the first envelope and pulling out its contents.

Mark smiled. He liked Sue. She was everso sweet. He knew Gary really valued her as a friend. He could see why, they were quite alike. He supposed Kate must be the waitress from the cafe.

"Bill... Bill... fan mail." Gary raised is eyebrows, it was rare fan mail made it to his house, usually he went and read it at the office after it had been sorted through. He opened the envelope carefully. Mark walked up behind him and looked over his shoulder.

Dear Gary, 

I know this has reached your house, and that this will surprise you, but this is important and I had to make sure you read it. 

Gary read the first few lines and quickly scrumpled up the letter.

"Whats wrong?" Mark asked, confused. "I only got to read 'Dear Gary'."

Gary slumped with relief. Mark hadnt seen the rest of the letter. "Oh nothing, just a bit of hate mail really." Gary regretted lieing the second the words were out his mouth.

Mark looked disgusted. "Jesus why people take the time out of their day to tell someone they hate them I will never understand."

Gary swallowed. It wasnt hate mail. It had said something quite different. The doorbell rang again, this time making Gary jump.

Marl laughed. "Christ look at us, jumping half a mile everytime the door goes, I expect thats the guys."

Gary tried to calm his racing heart. "Tell them to go in the lounge will you, I'll be in in a minute."

Mark looked at Gary, concern tracing his features. "Its just a bit of hate mail Gaz, dont take it personally."

"I wont... I dont... I just..." Gary stopped, lost for what to say.

"Everyone loves you Gaz, your a stand up guy." Mark clasped Gary's shoulder briefly and then left the room.

Gary waited until he was out the room before reopening the letter.

Dear Gary, 

I know this has reached your house, and that this will surprise you, but this is important and I had to make sure you read it. 


Listen, I know. I know how you feel, I know how you feel about Mark. And I also know how he feels about you. In this letter I'm going to tell you how Mark feels about you and I want you to act according to what I tell you, its time you two worked it out. 

So here it is the tell all and reveal all with conclusive evidence to show you that Mark- 


Gary crumpled up the letter again. He didnt need to be told what he already knew. The letter would tell him Mark didnt feel the same way and that Gary should just give up. Thats what it would say and Gary just didnt want to hear that. Maybe soon he would have the courage to read the rest of the letter, maybe hearing it said to him that Mark definitely does not and will never love him back will held him get over Mark.

Bloody hell, why was everything so bloody complicated?

"Gaz?" Jason was stood in the doorway, his arms folded across his chest.

"Jay." Gary said, smiling and standing. "I um... made some food, I'll bring it in."

"You okay?" Jay said taking a step towards his friend.

"Of course, just Mark stuff." Gary pulled a tray of food out of his oven and walked into the lounge.

Jason rolled his eyes. Everyone but Gary and Mark knew how they felt about each other, but he made damned sure no one told them because he felt it necessary they figure it out for themselves, it would be better for them in the long run. It was however taking longer than any of them had ever anticipated but Jason remained adamant that they should do the figuring themselves. Bloody hell if they'd just figure it out perhaps it would relieve some of the sexual tension the rest of them had to wade through at band meetings.

Jason went back into the lounge. They were all sat in a circle chatting away, Robbie's arm was thrown around an attractive young girl he supposed was Kate, Sue was perched on Gary's lap, Mark was sat with Chloe and Howard.

Howard looked up with a smile as Jason sat down next to him.

"So guys," Gary started, his arm round Sue's waist. "Speaking more seriously about stuff, the new album, if anyones got any lyrics then email me them and I think we should all meet soon and discuss which way we are going to go with this album."

"Sue, please hit Gary and tell him this is a social event where we will not be discussing business." Howard said grinning.

"Gary, this is a social event, we are not discussing business." Sue grinned and hit him playfully on the shoulder.

Gary held up his hands in mock surrender. "Fine."

The group laughed. "Its not business its what we love doing, but for now we will put it aside until tomorrow and spend the time getting to know our new arrival." Mark said turning to Kate.

The whole tray of food and mugs of tea all round and Gary found himself back in the kitchen whipping up something else to eat. Mark came in laughing at something Howard had said. He paused in the doorway.

"Just um... getting more food." Gary said holding up his spoon with which he had been mixing a dip.

Mark nodded. "Sounds good."

Silence fell over them. Mark couldn't help but notice that the lounge had gone pretty quiet as well. He swallowed suddenly feeling ridiculously uncomfortable. Perhaps he should just go. He was tired anyway, especially if they were having a band meeting the next day, those things were always hard work. He loved them though, hard work and all, Take That was everything to Mark, his fans, the band, the guys, the songs, the lyrics, it was his life and he loved every minute.

"I was thinking of heading off." Mark said, placing his empty cup in the sink.

"Okay, see you tomorrow mate." Gary said.

"Yeah." Mark replied, shouldering his coat and walking out into the night. Mate. Thats what he was. Just a mate. Nothing more. A mate. Suddenly frustrated he shoved his hands in his pocket and got into his car. Reving the engine he pulled out of the icy driveway. His fingers curled around the wheel until his knuckles were white, he pushed down on the accelerator. The car jerked as it hit the road. Mark had been so busy thinking about what Gary had said he'd almost forgotten about the ice and snow, the wheels of his car found no grip as they hit the ice covered tarmac. Mark slammed on the breaks but it was too late.

The world slowed. His car spun off to the right, tipping dangerously and then the car was plunged into the darkness surrounding the road. It hurtled through the surrounding woodlands before plunging into a nearby ditch. Mark drew up his arms in a panicked attempt to protect his head and his world was reduced to darkness.