Chapter 16

Good evening lovelies :’D Here is Chapter 16 of my fan fiction, I really hope you enjoy it, hope its not too sad, promise it will be far happier in the next chapter. Also the next chapter will include a lot of the people who have asked to be in it so don’t worry you are not forgotten! It absolutely means the world to me when you guys let me know what you thought of it, so all retweets, shoutouts and any feedback is so, so appreciated! Enjoy (; x

Howard curled his fingers around Jason’s. They were lying side by side, the sheets were twisted around them, it was dark in the room, the air hot and heavy. Howard’s breath was still coming out fast as he planted a kiss on Jason’s ear. It wasn’t long before they were to go home, Howard would miss the heat but he was looking forward to seeing the boys again.

Jason rolled over onto his side and curled his hand around Howard’s so they were facing each other. Jason smiled. In the almost darkness Howard’s eyes were such a deep green Jason could almost feel himself getting lost. Reaching up Jason ran his hand down the side of Howard’s face and stroked his neck softly.

“Will we always be this in love?” Jason said smiling.

Howard laughed quietly. “No… we’ll hate each other sometimes then we’ll have fantastic make up sex and we’ll fall in love all over again.”

Jason grinned and kissed Howard. “I can’t imagine I’ll stay angry as these lips for very long.”

“They are pretty hot.” Howard teased.

Jason looked down at the ring at his finger. They had been welcomed warmly in Greece, on the beaches and in the hotel… he certainly preferred the Greek’s to the British. Howard and Jason sometimes got dirty looks walking around in London together, and even once been called names from across the streets. Howard and Jason didn’t care all that much, but the Greek’s had simply beamed at them when they walked together hand in hand. Flower stalls had even given them free flowers, they got drinks on the house and the manager at the hotel had even upgraded their room.

Howard ran his finger over Jason’s forehead, nose and finally to his lips. Howard couldn’t wait to get home and begin their lives together, they were married now… it was so official.

“So… what next?” Howard grinned. “We’re married now, where will our relationship go next?”

Jason smiled. To be truthful Jason had wanted to have this conversation with Howard because well… Although he had never mentioned it before… he wanted to be a dad someday. Especially with Howard. Jason had always longed for a baby, a little girl or boy he could dote over.

Jason cleared his throat. “I don’t know I mean… maybe someday we’ll have kids and stuff.”

“Do you want a baby Jay?” Howard said, his eyes growing suddenly intense, the humour left from his face.

Jason pulled Howard’s hand tighter around his. “Yeah… I mean someday… I thought we could use a surrogate… I mean it would cost a lot and take a lot of time but I want to be a dad with you.”

Howard smiled, not his usual teasing smile but a real smile. “I want to be a dad with you too.”

Jason’s heart hammered in his chest. “So…. is that a yes?”

Howard leaned forward and kissed Jason again, briefly closing his eyes. “Of course… when we get home we’ll look into it… although it sounds like you’ve certainly been thinking about it.” Howard’s teasing smile returned.

Jason blushed. “Shut up… Although if we have a girl I do like the name Esme.”

Howard laughed. “Sorry are we getting a baby or adopting an 80 year-old?”

Jason hit Howard lightly on the arm. “Shut your mouth smart arse.” He grinned.

Their mouths met again and Howard shifted a little closer to Jason. Jason’s mobile began to chime. Sitting up Jason flicked the light on. ROBBIE flashed up on the screen, Jason tapped answer.

“Rob.” He said smiling. “How’s it going mate?”

“I hope I not interrupted anything, I know what you two are bloody like.” Robbie laughed down the phone.

“Well now you mention it…” Jason started.

“Nah, I don’t care, don’t tell me you’d rather get naked with your husband than talk to your old friend Rob?” Robbie teased.

“Of course not, so hows things back there?” Jason grinned at Howard who stuck his bottom lip out in mock pout.

“I just got off the phone with Mark… he’s going to talk to Gary tonight about everything… I wish those two would fucking sort it out… so much bloody drama.”

Jason bit his lip. “What did Mark say?”

“He said he wasn’t sure anymore… he couldn’t bare it if Gary left him again, I’ve talked him into giving a go but it all sounds very fragile.”

“Jesus, well let me know if you hear anything more from Mark, hows Kate?”

“She’s beautiful as always, she’s asleep, I’m in the bathroom, I wasn’t tired so I thought I’d ring and see how the honey moon was going.” Robbie stood and looking through the bathroom door. Kate was curled up wearing only her underwear, well if one could call it underwear, looked more like two pieces of string to Robbie. He grinned.

The boys said their boys after Robbie briefly chatted to Howard. Placing his phone back on the table beside the bed Jason settled back into Howard’s arms.

“I cant wait to tell the boys… it will be nice to have a baby in the band.” Jason said sleepily.

“Yeah.” Howard said softly into Jason’s hair. “It will.”

***

Gary paced up and down his living room, the sky was dark outside. Surely Mark wouldn’t be that longer? He looked down at his watch, sighed and rubbed his hands together. Mark and himself had spent over a week apart… perhaps they could talk things through tonight. That’s what Gary hoped anyway, Gary wasn’t sure how he felt. He knew he loved Mark, with all that he was but it wasn’t always that easy. You can love someone and yet not be able to be together… Gary didn’t know.

Sitting on the edge of his sofa he stared around the room. Photo’s littered the walls, him and the boys, him and his dogs, accepting various awards… He’d lived a life that so full… adventure, money, adrenaline, business, success and failure. Yet Gary felt his life was somewhat unlived. He never had time for love; he had time for brief flings that ended always in heartbreak. He’d had time for one-night stands that always turned into a disaster, but he’d sat down and just been in love. When him and Mark were together Gary felt like he had all the time in the world to be in love, and Gary had blown it. Like he blew everything because in the end he always put his work first.

Standing up Gary walked over to his walls and one by one pulled his awards off, he took down the photo’s of him and various celebrities, he tore down his platinum records until the walls were bare but a few photos of the boys. Fetching a box from the kitchen he placed all his awards carefully inside and poked it under the sofa. Gary didn’t want tonight to be about work, he didn’t want to look around and be reminded of all the things he had had to forfeit to get to where he was… he wanted to be in love with Mark, he wanted to feel normal. Just two guys in love, not two superstars.

 Tonight was about emotion. Tomorrow would be about music, Gary would never give up music, no matter what the cost, he loved his fans more than he’d ever loved anyone else. Music was his passion and… well he was pretty damn good at it. However Gary accepted that he needed to spend a little more time on his personal life, Mark meant a lot to him as well.

The doorbell chimed. Gary’s heart lurched into his throat. Composing himself he opened the door.

Danny’s grinning face beamed at him from the doorstep. Dark blond hair falling slightly over one deep green eye, his hands thrust into the pockets of his suit. Danny had worked next to Gary during his solo years, a talented pianist and songwriter.

“Danny.” Gary said, surprised. “What are you doing here?”

Danny shrugged his wide shoulders. “I was in the neighborhood, thought I’d see how Gaz was getting on… Wow, did I really just say ‘I was in the neighborhood’? That was lame.”

Gary stared at him. Christ he hadn’t seen Danny for years… the last time he remember seeing him was at Jason’s 30th where Danny had had a huge fight with… Mark. Gary couldn’t recall what the fight had been about but it had been big enough he hadn’t seen Danny for a good 10 years.

“So… can I come in?” Danny asked, raising his eyebrows.

Gary shut his mouth abruptly, which had been hanging open for a good minute. He cleared his throat. “Of course.” Gary stepped out the way… He was sure Danny would be gone by the time Mark came. What harm could one drink do?

Danny followed Gary into his lounge. “Where’s all your awards?” Danny smiled. “I thought you’d be showing them off.”

Gary poured Danny some wine and handed it over. “I um… just took them down actually, just for a day or two…”

Danny nodded. “So how’ve you been? Great news about Howard and Jay… I um… I read about Mark’s accident.”

Gary stiffened. “It was a difficult time.”

Danny took a step closer. “I am sure it was… is he… fully recovered?”

Gary thought back to all the times him and Mark had spent wrapped around each other. He blushed. “Yes, he is definitely on his way.”

“You guys always had a special connection.” Danny smiled again; it was a warm smile as he sat down in one of the chairs.

“Yeah he’s on his way over actually.” Gary said slowly, the fight had been so long ago; surely it wouldn’t matter to them now?

Gary was wrong. Mark wasn’t on his way over; Mark was stood outside in the dark, his hand poised over the doorbell when he’d heard their voices. Curiosity was what lead him round the side to the big window facing into Gary’s lounge. Mark felt like he had been punched in the stomach, he’d come all the way over to talk things through with Gary and here Gary was sat drinking wine with a man Mark despised. His chest hurt, the scar across it almost aching. Turning on his heel he walked away, he wanted to be as far away from that house as he could. He couldn’t do this, he couldn’t have his heart ripped to pieces all the god damned time. Picking up his phone he dialed Kennedy’s number.

ATTENTION READER – If you would like to volunteer yourself to be the surrogate that Jason and Howard will use please contact me on my twitter @medsies_world :D There is only one space so it will be a whoever asks first situation (: Really hoped you’ve enjoyed this, please spread it around and let me know what you thought! x